Am i intimidating or ugly

“You have no idea what it’s like to be called beautiful all the time,” a good friend once remarked.

“It’s like your biggest accomplishment is something you didn’t do yourself.” She wasn’t being rude; I’m not beautiful in the traditional sense.

To be fair, I’ve also learned this by being a black woman.

In an effort to preserve sanity, I discovered very early that what is good and beautiful about me doesn’t require external validation.

If someone doesn’t “match” with me (online or in real life), it doesn’t mean I’m less valuable.

While there are hurt feelings and bruised egos, there’s resilience in the acceptance that everyone won’t always want what I am serving.

Being overlooked is unpleasant, but this is where average looks are a gift: They free you from the notion that people should fall at your feet.

We can console ourselves with the knowledge that dating sites are marketplaces filled with choice and opportunity, and when faced with infinite choices, you’re less likely to choose.

My eye color isn’t interesting, and my hair is always feral.

I’m not ugly, but I don’t have much beauty privilege (and make no mistake, beauty privilege yields tangible rewards). “I don’t have to.” [Go ahead, ladies, make the first move.

Make no mistake, beauty is a currency, but it is merely one of many social currencies.

I recognize the strength and sensuality of my curves. I laugh like a drunken sailor, and meet people with an open heart.

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