Dating a woman who has been abused
Being in a relationship with a man who’s been sexually abused can make you feel helpless and confused, but what you may not realize is that your partner may be battling many of those same feelings.
Ever since the 1997 imprisonment of Mary Kay Letorneau, a school teacher in her mid-thirties who admitted to engaging in sexual intercourse with 13 year-old student Vili Fualaau, sexual abuse involving male victims doesn’t seem to be taken nearly as seriously in society as cases in which the victim is female.
’ One plus side of internet dating is your friends needn’t get involved in your love life, because that’s a recipe for disaster. I’ve got the perfect guy for you — but he’s not quite ready yet.’ When I asked why not, she said: ‘Well, his wife’s not quite dead yet.’ Often, I’ve seen a guy’s photo and thought: ‘Wow! Some women I know go on these sites for the same reason men do, but that’s not my style. Most of the men I’ve met have dressed smartly — that’s probably an age thing.
So if someone gives you a tiny bit of attention, it doesn’t matter what age you are, you still get that ‘high’ we all remember from our younger days. ’ I was shocked when he got really abusive and nasty. His last text said: ‘You’re more stupid than I thought you were.’ And he was right.
It’s also important to understand that many of the issues that are causing conflict in the relationship could be due to not dealing with the past.
You might also be his best chance at understanding what a healthy sexual and romantic relationship truly is.
Sometimes just listening is a great way to show support.
Just being there for moral support can make the experience of seeking professional help less scary.