Dating in aa
Relapse remains a threat even with decades in recovery, given the chronic nature of the disease.So, educate yourself about the signs of relapse and always encourage your partner to get help if you detect a problem, because even those who do relapse but get help immediately are often able to jump right back into their recovery.After we split, she told me he’d mentioned to her that he was turned off by how much I discussed being sober. Still, while I know it’s far from sexy to dump all my baggage at the feet of a stranger, I can’t help but think that if a guy’s got a problem with my addiction or sobriety, I’d rather know right away so neither of us wastes our time.The truth about dating when you’re sober is that after a certain amount of time, not drinking on a date (or anywhere else) doesn’t feel all that different from drinking on a date (or anywhere else).Plus: Why Women Have Never Had It Better When It Comes to Dating Granted, coming clean about sobriety isn’t always easy.Elizabeth, a 32-year-old writer in New York, says she would never reveal that she was sober on a first, second, or even third date “unless it somehow came up” because “it’s like if I was a vegetarian: it’s just something I do—it doesn’t make me who I am.” And David also waits until the topic comes up organically—even if that’s a few weeks into dating. Claire, a 39-year-old voiceover actress, once went out with a guy I knew.“A woman doesn’t have to sober but she has to be conscious,” says David, a 34-year-old sober actor, adding, “When it’s been established that I am sober and then we go out for dinner and she has three glasses of wine and is smoking an E-cigarette, that would be classified as not conscious.” The majority of the sober people try not to look at the dating pool as drinkers versus non-drinkers, but rather people for whom drinking is important, and those for whom it isn’t.
And if you are newly sober you should know that one of the worst things a person can do in early recovery is jump headfirst into a romance.
After a few nights of this, I told him I couldn’t deal—and he called me judgmental, and we never spoke again.
A few months later, I heard some news about Jeff from our mutual friend: He was worried about his drinking, and had decided to give sobriety a try.
In that moment, as he gulped his glass of merlot, I felt adolescent as I sipped my cranberry and soda through a straw.
The right moment to tell a date that you don’t drink is tough to pinpoint, I’ve discovered.